when choosing a bedtime story.... jack the rippers life stories is not a good idea... ........................................................................

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "GESTAPO! AUFMACHEN!!!"

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Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

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Q: You know why the floor is so clean? A: Because the janitor puts a lot of hard work into it.

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You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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I like my sex how i like my steak Pink and Bloody

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

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Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

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Lisa: Omg Karen, just had sex with Ben, his weiner was sooo tiny lol. Ben: I think you sent me the wrong text.

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red pain is spilled on it.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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I don't really like holocaust jokes because my grandpa was in it. Yeah he was drunk and fell off his guard tower.

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Why are there so many anti-jokes about refrigerators? Because the writer of the joke was pressured by terrorists that would kill him if he didn't write about refrigerators.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? TOO FUCKING MANY

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How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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