How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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2 boys are going to get candy from the store. What happened? A robbery and they were killed

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

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Why did the blond girl walk into the street pole? Because she wasn't paying attention.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Murder his family.

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roses are red voliets are blue u actule thought i would cry over you!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why don't you ask the chicken. I am sorry but I as a human being am totally incapable of understanding and communicating with chickens.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke....? A pig rolling in mud!

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How did the black guy, get a nice car, house, and attire? He went to college, and got a job.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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What's the difference in an orange? A chicken because a vest has no sleeves.

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Life is like a bridge. You get walked on all your life until you fall apart.

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When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

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Two little boys are talking to each other: - My dad's dick is soo biig! - Eh, my dad's dick is small but it still hurts...

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whats an aids victims last wish not to have aids

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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Hey did you see Helen Keller's dress? No, she's dead.

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whats white and if it fell from a tree it would kill you ? Pat Butcher

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TOFFEES HEAD LYING IN THE GRASS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops