- Anti Joke

what's the difference between a zebra and a horse They are spelled differently

Why couldn't Billy drive? He had no arms. Why did he have no arms? Thalidomide.

A blonde boards a plane and sits in first class. Another passenger sees the blonde in his seat and tells her she's in the wrong seat. "I'm not moving!" says the blonde. The passenger calls over the flight attendant. "Ma'am, you're supposed to be seated in economy class," says the flight attendant. "Please come with me." "No! I'm not moving!" The flight attendant informs the pilot. The pilot comes out, whispers in the blonde's ear, and then the two have wild sex, right in the open. Oh my God, you should have been there. She had the most incredible rack ever!!!

Knock knock Who’s there? The police, your family was killed in a horrific car crash on highway 22 this morning at 10:15 after they collided head on with a truck. They died instantly if it is any conciliation. We will contact you further into our investigation. Dave then poured himself a whiskey and thought about all the good times he and his family shared, teaching Jessica to ride a bike, his and Kate’s honeymoon in Honolulu, playing catch with Jacob. That’s when the full extremity of the situation hit Dave causing him to break into tears he sat and cried for three hours and fifteen minutes. Once he had gotten that out of his system he decided to visit his mother and tell her the horrible news. Knock Knock Who’s there? Dave Dave who? Again Dave breaks into tears as his grandmothers althsiemers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember her sons name. Feeling shattered he decides not to go through the process of explaining who he is and decides to head to the local pub to drown his sorrows. Bartender: hard day? Dave: my wife and two beautiful children were mauled in a head on collision with a truck and my mother can’t remember who I am. Bartender: yeah sure but was it a hard day? Dumbstruck with this ridiculous remark Dave pauses for a moment. The bar is silent only the sounds of bottles clinking and feet tapping on bar stools can be heard. Cigarette smoke hangs in the air. Dave stares at the bartender momentarily then throws his bottle at him send him off balance Dave then grabs the shot gun he knows the bartender keeps behind the counter and shoots the bartender at point blank range. Some customers run scared witless other try to control Dave but only end up in the same position as the bartender. Dave is left standing in a pool of blood. The smell of death hangs in the air with the cigarette smoke. Feeling slightly better Dave heads home and kills himself. Dave was an excellent plumber we will miss him.

A White man, a Black man, and an Asian man go to Heaven. They were in a plane crash.

A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

one day there was an ugly barnicle. he was SSSOOO ugly that everyone died the end -patrick

Christopher Reeve walks into a bar.

A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

chuck norris once kicked a man verry hard that man proceded to lose contiosness and chuck norris was disqualified from the martial arts compatition

A ginger kid, a blonde kid and a brunette jump off a 50 foot building... All of them die apart from all of them because luckily there was a swimming pool at the bottom

ring around the rosie ... your dead

What did the mexican say when two houses fell on him? Nothing. He was dead.

Why wasent Toby at school He was hit by a tree

Sex

Children + my basement + my finger = yes

Whats worse than losing your entire family in a car accident? Luikimia

Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are powerful machines, capable of dismemberment and death when wielded by someone who wishes to cause harm

"Why did Suzie fall off the swing?" "She had no arms." "What did Suzie get for Christmas?" "Cancer." "What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a tub of dead babies?" "I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage." "What did Suzie get for Christmas from me?" "My tub of dead babies."

What's yellow, black, and makes you laugh? A bus full of black people going off a cliff.

Whats the difference between a black man and a mexican? The skin pigmentation and most likely the size of their penis

What do you call two black people on one bike? Unsafe. Regular bicycles are typically not suited for use by two people at once, black or otherwise. Riding on the handlebars is dangerous and can lead to serious injury.

Your father must be an alien because he's driving a UFO

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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