Whats 89 x 67? Sponge. Whats 10 + 9? 19 Whats 9 + 10? 21!

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A bus full of retarded kids got broken on his way. One kid suggested to the bus driver that the problem could be with the brakes, as that kid's father was a mechanic.

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What do you get if you put 2 Korea, 2 Europeans and 2 North Americans together? TSM

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A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

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Roses are red, Here's something new. Violets are violet, Not f***ing blue.

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A thief stole a calendar. Later, feeling guilty, he returned it to its owner, admitted his misconduct, and went to a local minimart to purchase his own.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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if you can read this you dont' need glasses

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

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Dyslexics are teople poo

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Where's a bad place to park your car? In a no-parking zone

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Twelve muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin said "Where are we?" Another muffin said "Yikes! A talking muffin!"

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What do you call a cup that holds liquid A cup

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Why do girls think they deserve the very best? Because if an ugly girl in twilight can find a hunky vampire and ripped werewolf why can't they. And let's not forget those crappy Disney princess movies.

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What did the coworker say about the new girls butt Nothing be cause he was quite the gentleman and wanted to be respectful ts the woman as she already had enough problems such as being hit by a bus and dying.

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What did Steven Hawkings say as he fell down the stairs? .................

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How do you make a health inspector give you a good report? Throw his family into a pack of alligators.

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Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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What do pancakes and Smokie Bear have in common? They both don't have aids

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What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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