How do you make a health inspector give you a good report? Throw his family into a pack of alligators.

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The moment where Perfect Cell returns declaring he has become "even more perfect" There is no level above perfect :P But sure Cell, strive to improve further on your "perfection", oh he is dead nevermind. Still my favorite character, narcissist, with a touch of class, and a sadistic personality, what more can you wish for?

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Knock Knock Who's There? Betty Betty Who Betty Sue Never heard of ya I'm here from the management. You have a present. I don't care, we don't take kindly to you city folks. But Sir, If you don't take this I will have to ask you to leave. Well what is it. It's your bill. Knock knock Who's there? Cowabunga! Cowabunga Who? Moo Moo alalalalalal woohoo i'm so high

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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A girl hands her boyfriend her phone and says it's his dad. He throws it on the ground exclaiming, "My dad's not a phone, duh!"

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what would you get if you combined a sixth grader with a machine gun? A homophobe

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Knock knock? Who's there? You have cancer.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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why did suzy get hit by the bus because she got dumped into the road and she had no legs

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can not rhyme, Show me your tits

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin

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What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

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I drink poodle juice for breakfast lunch and dinner I was then turned into a tree

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DEATH.

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your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it shows that she is overwhieght

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a man walks into the bar and say, OUCH!!

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What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody nose.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding Osama Bin Ladan in your refrigerator.

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why did joe diragi cross the road there was food on the other side

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A coach walks into the team dressing room at halftime; his team is down 42-0. He screams at the players, "You guys are playing like a bunch of grannies. No offense"

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? An opera singer singing in the shower

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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