Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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Q: How do you shoot blue flames from your hands? A: You start to duck and lean forward quickly before you fully reach to duck as you punch as hard as you can, a blue flame should come out as Japanese bullshit automatically spews out of your mouth. It should not take more than a try or two...

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What do you give a gay guy on his birthday? a invition to strait camp

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how fast does it take to kill a blonde? Give me a gun and i will find out

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What is the worst place to be in race if you're racing with me Behind me

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Knock knock Whos there You spelt who's incorrectly You spelt whos incorrectly who ...................

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"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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What's worse than being hit with a falling brick? Being hit with many falling bricks. -ilikecrepes97

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What's worse then 10 babies nailed to 10 trees? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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I can still remember the last words my brother said before he kicked the bucket. "Hey you guys,how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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Uhh, yeah, some of it, I mean people never looked me in the eyes on the buss really, I dunno,if you think I am pretty maybe it is just your opinion or something, but thanks, you are hones and its nice. Never been out drinking, I am you know, kinda nerdy, I just prefer hanging out with friends at home.

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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If life throws you lemons, throw them back and ask for some water because lemonade only makes you thirstier due to the large amounts of sugar used.

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Humans and dolphins are the only species who have sex also for enjoyment.

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theres a straight guy, a gay guy ,and a jew the weird part is the straight guy hits on the jew and the gay guy which make the situation all akward.

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A knock knock B who's there A nobody

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How do you make the queen of england cry? You rape her violently.

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Cancer. Super Cancer.

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You walk by a boy and see he is playing with poop. You ask the boy what are you doing? He says I'm building a office. You ask him why he says "because I don't have shit to make a building"

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A man walks into a clothing store, he calls his wife, buys a shirt, and leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops