Your mom is so old she died

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if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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LeBron James: Kobe, i got a ring will you stop making fun of me? Kobe Bryant: Yes Kobe and Michael Jordan: LeBron asked if he gets a ring if we'll stop making fun of him LeBron James: Hey Kobe why didn't you answer when i called? Kobe Bryant: Sorry, I only heard it ring once

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whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

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What do you call a bright orange fish? A gold fish.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

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Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

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Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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This isn't funny.

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What does a sailboad and a walrus have in common? Nothing.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have ADD Check out this flashlight!

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A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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Knock knock. Who's there? No one, because your house burned down.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a mus lim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the mus lim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the mus lim that he's keeping company with a swine, and the mus lim feels offense for the poor horse.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Why is McDonalds bad for you? Because their is so much fat in all its products, and contains many calories.

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How did the rabbi die? It didnt it lived through the shooting

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Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

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what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

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Your mom's so fat, she's is bigger than the average person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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