why did matt daly want to go to prison? to be fondled

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Yo momma so fat that when she sat on the bible jesus poped out.

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

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There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

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Why did the snappy dresser take a button off of a coat? To see a button fly! NO YOU IDIOT YOU DID IT WRONG, IT'S SUPPOSED TO ABOUT ABOUT A "BUTTER FLY" OMG YOU DOLT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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How do you stop your golf ball from hitting a goose? You dont.

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What happened at the 21 year old's birthday? She tried alcohol for the first time. She partied. She danced, She's dead. Open case.

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A hooker walks into a bar. She orders a few drinks and leaves. She's a man.

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What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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I can't make my mind about the debate on legalisation of marijuana. Some days I think it's a good thing. Somes days I think it's a bad thing. And some days, I don't think about it at all and I just think it's a very nice day.

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What do you get when you cross a black man and a Mexican man? I don't know.

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My heart is in my hands. Call an ambulance.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm a bitch and so are u????????

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there are seven of us," reply the babies, "now get us a round of bloody marys

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What does a vegetarian eat? colored penis

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What do you call a black jew? Overcooked

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What is the diffrence between a jew and a mexican One is a religous practice and the other is a racial diversity

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Opinions are like assholes, neither one can ride a bike, except for the assholes

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Oh look, a dead guy. He must have died

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An Asian with a big dick.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was raped when i was little.

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what does a beer and a priest have in common? They both are cold refreshing beverages, except for the priest.

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Roses are Dead, Voilets are, too Now shut up and say nothing Because we're watching you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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