Q Why did the feminist cross the road? A To suck my dick

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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"Do you know the joke about the No and Me Neither?" "No..." "Me neither."

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"Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's parents?" "No" "Neither has he"

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Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head? A: An ambulance.

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When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are fine I'll be the 6 You be the 9

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Q. What do you call a dog thats deaf? A. A horribly abused domesticated animal that needs a kinder owner.

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Why didnt sally throw out her lunch? Her mom had a miscarriage, she was never born.

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Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

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There's a black and a mexican guy in a car. Who's driving? The chauffeur.

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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What kind of Mexican makes no money? A Mexican without a job.

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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what did the woman call the man who ate Ham? A Pig

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Whats brown and ryhmes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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What is Yellow and American? A yellow american

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I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? when people don't understand the concept of anti-jokes and post real jokes

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her.

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because apples can't talk.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Why did little Suzy fall of the Swing? Someone threw a fridge at her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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