What did the doctor say to the pregnant mother? Your babies dead

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Felix? The Lucky cat? That is the only thing that comes to mind, I am dead tired, but I really don't mind staying up until I cant anymore physically, as for mentally I am getting pretty bad as for company.

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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kk

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What do you get when you cross a taco with a a bungee cord? An inedible taco.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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This is not an anti-joke... A man is walking down a street and see's a small boy crying in an alley. The man walks up to him and asks him "What's wrong little guy?" The boy replies that his family is poor, they just got evicted from there house and his parents decided to kill themselves. The man decides out of guilt to bring the boy home and support him for a few days. Three days later the man see's a note on the couch that says "Thank You..." Signed Jamal. The man sighs and says to himself "Your Welcome." The man walks into his room and see's the boy's body in his closet. He starts hysterically laughing and cries into his pillow for many minutes. When he is done sobbing he asks himself "What could be worst than this?" The man walks to his kitchen asking that question over and over. He reaches into his cabinet and grabs his cereal and pours into his bowl. The boy walks out chuckling and says, "Bye bye..." The man was poisoned and died. Now the boy get's the other cereal out and is about to pour it only to find out it was empty. "Screw the Holocaust this SUCKS!!!!!"

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What do you call a half man half manatee? A manatee

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If i knew, I'd tell you.

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A duck walks into a bar. A horse walks into a bar. A cow walks into a bar. A bear walks into a bar. The owner tells them to get out, but they can't understand humans. So they just stayed there.

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"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

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Why did the little girl cry? The little girl cried for mercy as her attackers violated every inch of her innocent body, tearing her up from the inside until her organs were forced out of her anus and blood squirted from her ears as the pressure inside her body exceeded to a maximum. After the attackers were done with the corpse, they cut off her limbs and stapled them to her head.They placed her now decomposing body on the front porch of the worried parents' house and rang the doorbell.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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Q: Who was shot 50 years ago? A: Abraham Lincoln was shot 50 years ago! (=

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing? Because she was very careless and swung too high.

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What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

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I need a way to meet local babes and get ripped in 4 weeks. Shame there aren't any popularly advertised methods of doing that around here...

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What would the Swatch be called if it was made by a Croatian company? A Crwatch.

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Q: GUESS WHAT IS REALLY BAD????? A: TITTY CANCER! :0

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Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

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what is the worst thing a bout four black men driving a Cadillac off a cliff? they were my friends

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What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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