When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life isn't a physical being so chances are low that it will actually hand you lemons.

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Why was the black man afraid of leaving his house? Because he has severe agoraphobia and cannot function normally in society.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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Knock knock Who's there The police The police who? Ma'am your son is dead

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Why couldn't the black man play hockey in college? He died of cancer while still in high school.

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What did the guy say to helen keller nothing... according to helen keller

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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Boy:U a dime Girl: she said ur a quarter Boy:-_- dumb B***h

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object and a Mexican is a human being.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nick Oh hi Nick come in

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A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar. The bartender says " What are you drinking?"

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what is similar between a turtle losing its shell, and a man selling his chlothes and house? they are now both naked and homeless

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Japan is Weird We aren’t saying Japanese people are weird but it’s a fact that the strangest pictures floating around the internet are from Japan.

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Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

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What happened to tommy for his birthday ? A new pear of shoes to put on. Tommy feet just got amputated. But it's okay... Tommy got a new comb. Tommy just got cancer. But it's okay tommy got a new pet dog... Tommy is abused by the dog I know what your thinking a dog can't abuse someone it was a cat

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A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

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Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

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How many rich men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, to hire an electrician to do it for him.

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. He is soon kicked out as he is underage.

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What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Released some juice and burst its skin.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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