A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human languages, promptly shits on the floor and leaves...

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How do you learn how to drive? You get in the driver seat

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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Whats worse than finding an actual joke on anti-jokes? A.I.D.S.

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How do you make a blonde woman act in a porno? You get her consent and pay her money.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing?? ShE had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there? Not Susie

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I put the STD in stud now all i need is U

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yo mommas so fat she heard it was chilly out so she ran inside and got a bowl

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What's worse than breastfeeding a wolverine? Force-breastfeeding a wolverine.

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What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Finding a half-eaten worm in your apple.

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roses are red violets are blue i fucked your mom so did you

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what has two lags and red all over? :a cat in a chinies restrunt...

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Do you want to hear some bad news? My wife just died Do you want to hear some good news? I'm single

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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How do you put a baby in a blender? Feet first, so you can see its expression. How do you get a baby out of a blender? With chips.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle

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Get on the boat.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practise.

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What did the guy say before he learned how to Dougie? Teach me how to Dougie

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The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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What do you do when you say shut up to someone and they say make me? Rip out their vocal cords.

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What do you call a white guy pointing a gun at someone? A member of the United States Army.

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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