A drunk guy walks into a bar. He orders a beer and the bartender says "Hey pal, you look and act really drunk, I don't think I can serve you any more alcohol." The man looks up to the bartender and says "You're right, I'm really drunk."

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Here's a joke for you, my life...

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Children + my basement + my finger = yes

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What do you call two black people on one bike? Unsafe. Regular bicycles are typically not suited for use by two people at once, black or otherwise. Riding on the handlebars is dangerous and can lead to serious injury.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

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WHo owns a white van? JOSH!!

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Sex

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what happened to the retarded dyslexic? he retard on his 60th birthday and took up gardening.

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Q: What's worse than finding out you have genital herpes? A: Finding out your grandmother gave them to you

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I have Alsheimers... Cheese on Toast

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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What did the Asian say to his racist friend? You're racist

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Why did Sally ask for ketchup? She wanted to use it on her french fries.

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what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

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chuck norris once kicked a man verry hard that man proceded to lose contiosness and chuck norris was disqualified from the martial arts compatition

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I have read and agreed to the Terms of Service

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G:nock nock B:come in!

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what's the difference between you and a yack one is a spitting idiot and the other one is a camel

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A blonde is walking down the road, and she sees a sign saying STOP. She carries on walking. As a pedestrian, the sign does not apply to her.

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Want to hear an anti-joke? Yes. Well I'm not going to tell you one.

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue Last night was amazing, I have Aids

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Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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