What's 9 + 10 19 AB

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." Then there is silence and a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "I shot in the air and my friend heard it and moved. I think he's still alive." The operator says "Good that means he's still breathing and he's not dead."

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jack and jill climbed up the hill but they were bagels

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After a while, the bartender comes over to him and asks if he would like another beer. He says no and leaves.

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What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

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I took a vampire out for dinner last night. I expected her to cringe when I ordered a rare steak, but we decided not to let my tastes impact on the evening, sharing wine and many stories before heading back to my apartment.

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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Make me famous

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Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

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Why didn't 6 like 7? Because 7 was a huge racist.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

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whats worse then finding a bad antijoke on this site? finding a real joke on this site

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What is meant by the term 'Biological control''? Not ending up on the Jeremy Kyle Show.

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Cosmopolitan magazine releases an issue without any sex tips.

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What did the ginger say to god? Nothing it has no soul

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Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

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knock knock whos there i have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who Cream cheese

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve you kind here." The black man says, "Is it because I'm black?" The bartender replies, "Yes."

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what's black and can't swim?

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a man walks into a bar, what does he say answer: oww..

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a group of mormons walk into a bar... just kidding mormons aren't aloud to drink.

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What's the difference between a gay person and a Nazi? No gay person systematically murdered 6 million people.

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whats brown and booky a book.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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