A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Five guys in white sheets chase a black man down the street. It is Halloween and all six people are close friends and enjoy goofing around.

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There once was a man from Peru, Whose limericks all stopped on line two.

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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What did Jesus Christ say to John the Baptist? Nothing. He didn't exist.

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Why do gingers smell so bad? So the blind can hate them too

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What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

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Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

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A naked man walks into a bar and is promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

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April showers bring... tornadoes that kill families

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You go on Nero, he got all red, not sure if he is mad or ashamed or both, but we can all tell that man is jealous. Employee.

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What do you call a fat zombie? Dead

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Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

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what's yellow and hovers? a yellow hovercraft.

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What did the tiger say to the monkey? Nothing really, just a lot of growls and other sounds as he consumed it.

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What happened to the boy that got hit by a bus? He was by a 2nd bus, by which he felt no pain because the first bus crushed his lungs and skull causing suffocation and profuse hemorraging.

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your period is red your waffle is blue find a way to fix it or no sex for you!

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Its a sunny day. There's a tree and a bird. What did they say to each other? --------------------------------------------------- Nothing they can't talk.

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What do you call Anne Franks life? A big game of hide and go seek.

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The Lord told Moses to come forth. He tripped and came fifth.

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How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

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What do black people and tables have in common? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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