If you are reading this you are a nerd

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What did the alcoholic say to the blind man? Nothing. But he beat his wife and kids savagely.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Whats Brown and fluffy ASIAN TITS

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why did the man drop his razor? he had a seizure.

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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I forgot to tell you something I forgot wat it was

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Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

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Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

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What do you call a shoe with no laces? Stilettos, sandals, flip flops, slippers, etc...

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What is not funny Bad jokes!????

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Have you heard the joke about the cat? No Are you kitten me

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Q: What do you get when you put an ice cube, a grasshopper, a cell phone battery, and a human finger in a freezer? A: A very strange mix of objects indeed.

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Three blind men walk into a bar, and, no... wait, sorry just one; so one blind man walked into a bar, and... uh, okay, so it was actually more of a small post. This is pretty much just a plausible, yet unfortunate event. My bad.

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Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

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Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? Because they weren't invented when he was alive.

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Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: He got hit by an axe.

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what has two lags and red all over? :a cat in a chinies restrunt...

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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How do you make a gorilla stop chasing you? You shoot him.

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What? Chicken butt Why? Chicken thigh Who? Deez nuts

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What happened when the chicken got to the other side of the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops