how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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When the mom came home from work, she was very tired. Her son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She says sure and makes one for him. The boy was very happy and ate his sandwich. I was actually lying above. The mom was actually killed by three men in hoodies that were hiding in her backyard. The came inside and also murdered the boy. Worst of all the killers took all of the food and the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat, Guess it doesn't matter since he is gone...

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Why do all gingers get mad all the time except having sex? Because they enjoy it!!!

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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One more note for my children: ...My words appeal to your dark, evil side, it is that which might trigger your fear and disgust... But dont blame your fear on me you moron... ....To those that react with fear and disgust towards my comments: You know the fear and disgust in you, your own emotions make you feel fear and disgust for yourselves, because like all and everything that feels the inspiring words of the Black Angel... ...You know you like it ;) The friendly Black Angel/R*pist: God can free you from the temptation I inspired in your heart, but why would you? Now, thumb this comment down, so you can feel "good about yourself" and suffer in life in order to become a slave and serve the one that made you suffer troughout life... You think me, yet you fail to see that if it where me, I would have be Jehovah your GOD!... ...Worry not though, all of those that plan to stick alive for 10-15 years and I allow to live, will get to serve The Only God, your EMPEROR: Moral Man... Know my name and fear it, and yes mortal, you will also be screaming it...

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Nate has 32 candy bars. he eats 28 of them. What is he left with? 4 candy bars

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You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

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Why was the white man's girlfriend a whore? Because she engaged in sexual relations with a multitude of other men.

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

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At first I was at the party and I was like YOLO!! But then I got pregnant and was like yolo....

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What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

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Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

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How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

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Why couldn't Timmy go to the bathroom? He was constipated.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

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WHART++EWEEEEEEEP FLARPEN CARPEN FLARP

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Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

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whats the difference between slade , and wizard? wham

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Whats the difference between a falcon and a deer? both live in water, except for the falcon... oh, and the deer.

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Q: What's purple and eats desks. A: My dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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