Why did the kid want money? So he could buy pokemon cards.

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what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

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How do you make a baby cry? You leave it unattended

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What did one retarded person say to another? asiuasdhfiusanklasndfkjlnknankjas

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What do you call a dude dinosaur that's into other dude dinosaurs? A Bi-ceritops

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My nipple is bleeding

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What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

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A man walks into a bar... and gets hurt.

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did the dog explode? because it didn't have a bum hole

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Your mama's teeth are so yellow, she decided to invest in a teeth whitening procedure and begin a healthier dental hygiene regimen.

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What has an extra toe and is a bad role model for little girls? Miley Cyrus.

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Gay rights

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor

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Guess what? SHADAP

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How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

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I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

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this going to be my new text thingy! i dont have a phone! WATS UP!

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What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

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What's brown? My toilet hahaha

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wanna hear a joke? no

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Have you ever had sex with a woman (or several at once) and suddenly thought somethi... Moral: Nevermind, like you ever had sex! LOL!

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If a stick is sticky and a bat is batty, what is a mountain? A mountain is rocky. Techinically, 'mountainly' is not an official word.

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Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops