What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

What did the gay man say to the other gay man? “How was your day?“

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a random biological stimulus compelled it to.

My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

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What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

What did the ghost say to the bee? BOOBEE

Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

Who owns the streets of Comton The mayor

What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled to his face.

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

Why did the pigeon rape itself? It had mental issues.

What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

What does a dyslexic person call God? Dog

knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck CAN chuck wood, that's why his a wood chuck.

Why do black people like chicken? It's usually fried.

What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

What's worse than being a Jew in 2010? Being a Jew in 1942.

a child and his father were on a bike ride the child tried to cross a street but was run over by a truck. His father now lives homeless and griefs his dead son.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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