Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

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Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

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Barack Obama walks into a KKK meeting. Everyone in the meeting is shocked, and no one says a thing out of sheer embarrassment because racism is no longer socially acceptable.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

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Yo Mama is so fat She wears XL clothes.

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What do you call a Muslim woman driving a plane? First, you don't "drive" planes you "fly" them. Second, you should address her as Ma'am, Captain, or Pilot.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not sally.

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What did the black guy get on his SAT's. Barbecue sauce

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The joke below me is retarded

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How do you kill a black guy? Shoot him in the temple

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worst name for a club in alaska club baby seal

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

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what goes oom oom a cow walking backwards

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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a woman walks into a stall with her five yr old daughter. as the mom starts to due her buisness the girl looks down and asks her mom "Mommy why do u have a beard on ur pe-pe?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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What did one pole say to the other pole? We are both from poland

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What is better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

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Hey, you have small hands.

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to she him rocking and rocking on it.(:

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when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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