How do you greet your great great grandmother born in 1738? Hey, what's up, hello.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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Q. Why did the 40 year old woman puts on a large amount of makeup? A. She may have gerontophobia.

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Why did the teacher give the little boy a golden star? He was a Jew and it was in Germany during the 1940's

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Knock knock? Who's There? I AMMM!!! (thumb this down please xD)

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What do you call a gay man in a wheelchair? Nothing, his life is already hard enough and bullying him will only make the problem worse.

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I never drink liquor alone... except for when I'm alone.

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Why did the gay guy go in the bar? To find some hookers

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KILL WHITEY

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

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Yo mama so stupid, she should be worried about Alzheimer's disease.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? The pig rolled in the mud!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? Cue annoying little kids saying WHAT!!!!!!!!! A: To check out all the chicks

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What do you call a hamburger with nothing inside of it? A virgin.

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What did one Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I would tell you but i don't speak Chinese therefore i have no way of translating it for you

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What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

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A man walks into a sofa. BANG

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What does little Tommy and a tomato have in common? They are both vegetables. Oh wait, a tomato is a fruit.

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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why am i a dick head. because my gcse's spelt fudge and i dont like fudge so i project my anger into boss things

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it's not gonna

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops