What's got two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

How do you get a tissue to dance. You don't.

so a black,Hispanic,chines,white and Asian man walk into a bar and they sat down had a couple drinks and had a good conversation and left as happy as could be

Why didn't the guy have kids? He didn't want them

Guess what what?? chicken butt!!!!!

when life throws you lemons you should probably get out of the way because it will hurt

Did you know that many scientists will find out what happens after death within your lifetime? But not their lifetime...

Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

What's the easiest way to make new friends? With Play-Doh.

Yo momma so ugly, she makes french people say "you are ugly" in whatever language they speak.

Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

Three men walked into a bar. The last one ducked.

Why did Ian die Because I shot him with a gun

What do you call a person with no arms or legs rolling around in leaves? I don't know that seems like a highly improbable situation

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

fridge

Q. How do you drowned a blond A. Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool

Knock Knock. Who's There? I have cancer.

What srtarts with "P" and ends in "orn"? Popcorn

Mary- Hey Dallas, do you have a suitcase? Dallas- Yeah, why? Mary- I need a suitcase

what did the ghost say to the bee boo-bee

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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