What do apples and black men both have in common? They are both people except for the apple

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A man walks into a bar the bartender looks at the man and says "Hey son you wanna make one hundred bucks?" the man looks at the bartender and says "Im not your son."

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what did the bot get for his birthday? .. men!

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Disabled

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing. Walls can't talk.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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What did the white guy say to the two black guys? I like oreos.

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What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

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what's gray, red, and goes over a 100 mph? a toad in a blender

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? gloves.

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Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

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How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

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Knock knock Whos there A dead boy a dead boy who A dead boy who started tobuy drugs and didn't have the money for it and his family loved him and he was going to go to college

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What happened when the man got into the taxi? The driver shot him 17 times in the chest and ran away

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Through him a survival buoy

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I was eating a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Friends are like potato, when you eat them die.

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Why didn't the boy eat chocolate yesterday Because he was allergic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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