There once was a man from Nantucket Who got his head stuck in a bucket He yanked and he yowled, he hollered and howled, Then gave up and grumbled, "Aw, I guess I'll have to go to the doctor."

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? None. While they were figuring out who to change the bulb the bulb lit a spark and the house caught fire. Everyone but one died. The black guy couldn't change the bulb because the bulb was lost in the fire.

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What's Black, White, and Red all over? A Cow in a giant blender...

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why did the black guy say he was ridin' dirty? because its been weeks since he last took it to the coin op, he's busy working as an I.T Specialist.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After a while, the bartender comes over to him and asks if he would like another beer. He says no and leaves.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Potatoes. Potatoes who? Garlic salt.

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A Man, a chicken and a horse walk in to a bar and sit down at the stools near the jukebox. The jukebox is playing Love Me Tender. The Bartender notices the man pull something from his pocket and hand it to the chicken who takes it in her beak and then turns to the horse and passes it to him. "What'll it be?" says the Bartender. "methamphetamines", says the horse ironically.

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why did the Mexican take $20, because he found it on the ground

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what did the teacher say to his student? do your work.

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How to kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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what do you call a mexican baptism? a bean dip

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What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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Why did the cop pull over the car full of black people? Because, they were going 65 in a 35 mile per hour speed limit zone, Which is against the law.

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Today i saw 2 midgets walking.........now there hanging together.....in a tree.....by there necks,,,,...............I f***n hate midgets

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Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

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A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "I want six shots of whisky," responds the young man. "Six shots? What’s the occasion?" asks the barman. "My first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house." To which the young man replies, "No offence sir, but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

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Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

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Josh is sooo great at blowing, xoxo Dylan Hodge.

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Why is it a shame if a kid gets run over by a car? I like the newspaper headlines about stabbings better.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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What do you call a man running around town with no clothes on? Naked.

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Q. What did the atheist ask the pregnant woman? A. You gonna eat that?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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