Why did the chicken cross the road? He saw a bottle of Faygo on the other side.

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what's white, got three legs and you wouldn't expect to find in the rainforest? A fridge on a stool

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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There was a scientist that was doing a social experiment with mothers and their children. The name of first kid was named candy because it was her mothers favourite thing. The second kid name was rose because it was her mothers Favourite thing. The last mother knew what was happening and said to her son "Come on Dick".

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Why could susan not get up? Because her limbs were hacked off by a African militia group.

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What happens if you fell off a 600 foot cliff? You die.

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A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

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Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

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Roses are red violets are blue... Only not really. Actually light is reflected off them and these colors show up soo....

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies, "my wife has cancer."

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If you are reading this you are a nerd

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? The pig rolled in the mud!

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knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

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A man walks into a clothing store, he calls his wife, buys a shirt, and leaves.

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What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

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rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

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They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.

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Why did the boy trip over the garden gnome? He didn't trip. He died of a burst artery.

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Q: What did zero say to the eight? A: Nice belt

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What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

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Man: Hey honey! you look mighty fine today! Want to go play some lax? Woman: I'd love to! Thanks babe! Man: Just kidding you are a woman.

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yo mummas so FAT to get to the other side

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jack. Honey, Jacks here, will you get the door?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops