How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

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What do a Mexican and a elephant have in common? Aside from the fact they're both alive beings, they share the same kingdom, phylum, class and the fact of both being alive beings, each other are in constant contact with the environment, they both share affectionate ties with partners of their species, being them from the same family, breeding partner ou even just alive beings of the same especies of each one.

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Hi, this is Luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

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Your momma is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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Roses are green violets are brown wait a minute..........my shoes untied

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One day an irishman walked into a bar. he started to show off his accent when a nicely dressed lady said to him, "are you from ireland?". "AYE" said the irshman. " what part of ireland are you from?" drunk, the irishman replied "uh downtown" then the woman said, " did you come here alone?" then he replied"no i didn't come here a'lone.....DONKEY!!!"

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Women's rights

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What do you call a person trying to rob a store with no arms? Peter Pan

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Why little Susie often molested as a child? She was probably a good-looking child.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

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Women's rights

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Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

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What is red and has wheels? Grass, I lied about it being red and having wheels.

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" Unable to understand English, the horse shits on the floor and leaves.

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Q:Why did Santa, the tooth fairy, and a rich man jump out of a plane? A: On Christmas Eve, a rich man was skydiving and lost his tooth as he plummeted towards the beautiful plateau.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause fuck you thats why

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How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln a good president? Because he got shot in the head and died.

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot you racist BITCH! Its ok a niggah gots altititude.

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Q.) What do you call a black man on the moon? A.) An astronaut.

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Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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Humans and dolphins are the only species who have sex also for enjoyment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops