Knock Knock. Who's There? Orange. Orange Who? No, this is Homeland Security. We have raised the current terrorism threat level to Orange, which means there is a high risk of terrorist attacks. Please report any suspicious behavior.

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What's Pink And Wet? A chewed up piece of Bubble gum.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Like this if you want people to stop asking to have their jokes liked.

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I just got robbed by an invisible man!!!!

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's orange and sticky? An orange. What's red and sticky? My stool - is that normal?

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Q: How to fit 10 babies in a suitcase? A: By blender Q: How to get the babies out of the suitcase? A: Using a straw.

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

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What did Batman say to When they were heading to the Batmobile Robin get in the batmobile.

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How does Hitler like his juice? With pulp

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What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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Your mother is so ugly, her genes were passed down through two generations, and now your children are of a similar caliber of ugliness. I'm so sorry.

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Q. How do you punish Helen Keller? A. Rearrange the furniture in her room

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A woman woke up next to her husband that was already awake. She said "F*** you" and walked out of the house. On the other side of the world, a horse is giving birth to a chihuahua.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

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What's black and blue, and read all over? The Merriam-Webster dictionary.

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What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

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Person 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

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What do you call a black person doing labor for other people? A good friend.

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people can be soooo loud!!!!!!! sooo loud that they wake up helen keller!!!!!!

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Your mother is so stupid because as a child, she was unable to keep up with what was being taught as she unfortunately had a learning disability.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Peyton Peyton who? Peyton Manning

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? THE CHICKEN!

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what did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, They just waved.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops