what happens when you throw a green rock into the red sea? -- it gets wet

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A blonde is walking down the road, and she sees a sign saying STOP. She carries on walking. As a pedestrian, the sign does not apply to her.

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Here come the elephants over the hill!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm going to murder you Did you look behind you?

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Your mom is so old she is significantly more identifiable in a crowd of middle-aged men and women.

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Nero, I mean it, I want you and your wife to have 15 million dollars, it wont buy you the happiness you seek, but it helps no?

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What do you call a red ballon? It depends on its color duh!

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What would you get if you crosses a potato and a frog? Nothing because potatoes cannot breed with animals

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your wife has been killed in a car accident.

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what did the murderer say to the man... i'm going to kill you

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Q:Whats evil ,not funny and on wheels A:The Holocost on wheels

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How do you stop a man from jumping off a building? Push him off a building.

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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What has 4 legs and doesn't move? A child born in Chernobyl.

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You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

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What do you do when you see an ostrich playing tennis? I don't know as I have little experience in the areas of ostriches or tennis. Frankly, I'm not quite sure why you're even asking me

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What is the different between going to church and reading a newspaper? You can take your shoes off when you read a newspaper.

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What did the penguin say to the tiger? I'm in the wrong country.

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"....did he fire six shots or only five....." It doesn't really matter, considering he will die of blood loss soon

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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Can yas all stfu SBBBBBBBBBSBSBSBSBSSBBSBSSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBBBBBB

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A dyslexic man into bar walks a.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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who else is on here?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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