A smart kid just answered a question in class, a blonde girl then says "Nerd, your always answering all the questions". The teacher then says "Hey thats not nice, he could be your boss one day." The smart kid quickly replies "Highly unlikely, i do not plan on being a pimp when i grow up".

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Gotta disappoint you there, you see there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar organizations which work for the government, and those I work for are black ops, meaning that I would be putting my life in danger if I told you anything about it besides that fact. Its not listed anywhere, its not FBI, its not legislated by any government yet many governments invest their funds there, you could call it something like the interpool, and something like the underground society, except its multi-government driven... A term I sincerely do not fully understand myself, I have certain talents I put to use, but I lack the education in order to be more than a employee for these people.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock-knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? I just said it was Steve

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did they bury the fireman on the east side of the green grassy hill, to the left of the old well, underneath the huge apple tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is worse then losing your remote? Falling off a cliff landing on a sharp rock and dying slowly.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? How would she know? shes blind, deaf and mute; and incapable of knowing what she received.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why was the Jewish person accused of stealing money? because the police found his finger prints.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what do you do with a fat little chug...kick em in the guts

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Have you heard about the awesome farmer? He was outstanding in his field. -ymda

thumb_up thumb_down +6

My brother and I laugh at how competitive we used to be. But I laugh harder

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why are blondes so dumb? They aren't dumb they just have prejudice against them

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why didn't the boy eat chocolate yesterday Because he was allergic.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the blackman say to the whiteman???? Nothing! They both commintted suicide

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q:Why are babies and spaghetti alike? A:They both stick to the wall when cooked.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A guy killed his kids and wife Pokémon GO also exists

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was Billy lat to school? He was being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There were a dog and a cat in a family house. The dog turned to the cat and said .. nothing because a dog can not speech the human language.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops