Why did the woman shout at the bin? Because she is mentally ill

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How many elephants can you fit in a mini? None. There are no affordable cars large enough to fit a fully grown elephant.

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woman's lacrosse

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Roses Are Red , Violets Are Blue , Go Die .

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Chuck Norris doesn't just have a chin underneath his beard. He also has part of his neck underneath his beard.

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Why can't february march Because april may

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A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

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What is funnier than 24? If you think numbers are funny then you could have a mental illness and that isn't quite funny.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Carlos was attempting to write anti-jokes. He sucks at writing anti-jokes.

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A girl walks into a supermarket. She picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay. The cashier looks at her and the items she has and says, "I can tell you're single." She smiles and responds, "How do you know that?" He says, "Because you're ugly."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

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What happened when the blonde girl threw a grenade? The enemy pulled the pin and threw it back

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What did the sun say to the moon ?? Nothing - they can't speak

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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when placing the bolt in the side of the metal rememb............ shit wrong book ........................................................................

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What did santa claus get the boy with cancer for christmas? Nothing. Santa is not real and thus incapable of granting christmas wishes.

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What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But his one doesn't.

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A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

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Why was the woman sad? Because her son died.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Ed Rambo. EXPERIENCE as John Rambo is kidnapped by AL QUAIDA (because he did not totally save their ass in the second or third movie riiiight) Leaving Ed Rambo, his son (Played by Eddie Murphy) up to the task of saving him, from Al Quaida`s real leader... Yes, its a conspiracy! "Okay, first Obama is supposedly a terrorist, but seriously the secret alliance between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton?" Bullshit movie reviews. "So the explanation is that Ed Rambo is black because John Rambo married an Asian woman? What about their age? They are probably the same or something!" Mad Magazine. Moral: Yeah because this annoys you, and you all kinda love me I know its Al Qaeda, but who wants to type that... Now it does not say Skynet is watching anymore... After four times... Wow, god damn we need robocop to be real before the Termitetrisnators travel back in time into our dimension. AND NOT ADAM SANDLERS: ROBOCOP.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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