It sucks if you have amnesia. It sucks if you have amnesia.

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why didn't the boy go to school because he died last night

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

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whats 7+4? 74

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Doctor, doctor, I think I've got a problem! Correct, you have got acute cancer, you have 2 months to live.

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How many Jews can you fit in a one-person car? --One in the drivers seat, 30 million in the ashtray

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hold the planet Dumb ass well I'm doing something else right now dumb ass

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why was the man sad? Cause his dog fell off a cliff

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A duck walks into a bar. He sees Khloe Kardashian sitting on a barstool. The duck runs out of the bar screaming.

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house..... It's ok he hasn't either.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the Asian Kid pass his test? He studied hard.

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Why did sara fall out of the tree? -she had no arms.. Knock knock. -who's there? not sara.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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A whole 'nother.

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Why did the angry kid press the button? The button said "press here angry kid"

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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What does? 42

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Why did the fat Jew cross the road? To go to the bicycle shop to fix his puncture

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A terrorist.

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Wizard: If you could get any one thing in the world, what would it be son? Son: Another father that grants more wishes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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