Why was the tree sad? Trees cannot think or move, and thus cannot feel emotions.

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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What would Chuck Norris do if you insulted him? Nothing. He probably doesn't have time for such foolishness.

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Three Men walk into a bar. One with a ax and one with a Shovel. The other one isn't holding anything. *Boom* (\ _ /) (x . x)

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Why couldn't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has parkinsons and therefore couldn't keep his hand steady.

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An orphan walks into a bar. The bartender calls Child Protective Services and is given to a nice foster family.

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What doesn't kill you and doesn't make you stronger? Aids

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what is yellow with red all over tweety in a blender

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24

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What's up with women with there jewlery it's there's best friend,but a black man's best friend is reames..

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

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phone and phone charger were talking to each other suddenly a massive hand swopped down to the charger and another hand came down and grabbed the phone they both started screeming so the hand stabbed the phone with the phone charger so the phone said... ALL I DID WAS SCREEM (RANDOMZZZ) (L.W)

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What did the pitcher say to the batter who hit the ball very far? Wow, you hit that ball very far.

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Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

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Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

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Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

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Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

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david give me my money back... i will have it next week

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Q.What Did the Little Kid Say To Cancer In The Hospital? A.Nothing. He Died From Cancer 3 Minutes Ago.

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What's big and grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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What's tiny and smells like a big banana? A tiny banana

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What did the baby say to the man? Babies can't talk ,the baby did not say anythingto the man!

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So,a guy walks up to his friends at the bar and try's to to talk to them,the friends start being rasist ,so the first guy says 'wo guys stop going in that direction ,that one direction

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hiya

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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