What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

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What did the black person say when his white friend said "Nigga!"? "You know, I really don't get racist jokes like this."

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[INSERT ANTIJOKE HERE]

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Why did Hitler kill so many Jews? Because he didn't like them.

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How did the hillbilly fix his PC? He brought it to Wal-Mart and got a diagnostics from an expert then installed anti virus software.

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whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

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when life gives you lemons you make lemonade when life gives you a homisidle brige you clearly have done something to make life angery

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't cross it. He was pushed.

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What is brown and woody? Brown wood.

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Q: How many Jews are there in Germany? A: None, they all died in the holocaust

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everything.

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A Jew, a Catholic, and a Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have?" The Jew says, "I'll have a whiskey straight." The Catholic says, "I'll have a vodka tonic." The Muslim says, "I can't drink it's against my religion and I really shouldn't be here."

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What did the senator do after he typed he email? He clicked the send button.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a gay bar. They are closet homosexuals and are searching for partners to engage in consensual sexual intercourse with.

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? answer: Where's my tractor?

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If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

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What did the T-Rex say to the chicken? Nothing. First of all because the Tyrannousaurus Rex has been extinct for over 65 million years and secondly because Tyrannousaurus Rex's and chickens are both animals of lower intelligence so they cannot talk to one another.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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