Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What's worse than both of your parents dying in a terrible car accident? A: Sitting in the back seat with your grandparents.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

thumb_up thumb_down +11

- Hi, my name is Sarah Lennon. - Wow! Are you related to Sarah Palin?!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There were two mufins in an oven. They did not say anything because muffins are incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why are small clowns and baby's alike? They both dreadfully die when hit in the face with an axe!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did spiderman fall off the roof ? cause it was wet

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why cant little timmy ski? he was born without legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you fit an elephant into a car? You can't. Unless it's a baby elephant. You would probably also need a convertible with the top down.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

how how does a black man jump. the same way anyone else does

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do a priest, a rabbi, and an asian have in common? They all don't know each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and in turn wasting money

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Gun laws don't work because criminals don't pay attention to the laws

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. You wife was killed in an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

It's not just a boulder. It's a rock! A rooooocckk!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops