How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Why couldn't Sammy ride a Bicycle? -Because Sammy is a Fish

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Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

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Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas ? A treadmill

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Man: Doctor, everything I touch hurts. Doctor: Okay. Let's test it out by first touching your leg. Man: It hurts. Doctor: What about your arm? Man: It hurts as much. Doctor: What about your back? Man: It still hurts. Doctor: I see......your fingers are broken.

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Whats the difference between 10 dead babies and 8 dead babies? 2 dead babies.

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your mummas so ugley that it looks like it court fire and your family put it out with forkes

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What did the the White blood cell say to the bacteria? Nothing. Its a cell. It goes through phagocytosis.

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Weebles wobble, but paralyzed kids fall down.

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What's long, hard, and has come in it? A long, hardcovered book.

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How do you hurt a clown? shoot it.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf mail man? No. Neither did he.

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Two fish walked into a bar. They died. Because fish can't breathe out of water.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

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Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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