Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

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What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

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Why did the duck turn black? an oil spill

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Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

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whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

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I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

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Why is water clear? Because it doesn't have a pigmentation.

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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what word starts with 'p' and ends in 'orn'? popcorn you sickos

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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