A mormon walks into a bar.

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad this joke is over?

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What is red and has wheels? Grass, I lied about it being red and having wheels.

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what did the boy who liked trucks get for his birthday? POOP

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It's good to be a scientist and great to be a biologist. However, it is never okay to be a scientologist.

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Why little Susie often molested as a child? She was probably a good-looking child.

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what is Rebecca black's favorite restaurant? Ruby Tuesdays

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What do you call an Arab guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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guess what>? your mum lol

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Why does Michael J. Fox have a good handshake? He has a firm grip

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okay so theres this guy.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are baked until ready and then enjoyed be the person who made them.

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What did the cat say when someone pointed out that cats can't talk? Meow.

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Q: How do you make an mail man cry? A: Take his car and run over his family.

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Roses are blue Violets are polka dot I suck at rhyming Pandas

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Q What did Stevens mum say when he asked to be an astronaut A no your heads too big

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If Steve has 5 apples and gives Jenny 2, it is obvious they aren't eating oranges.

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If u swipe fast u will see fish swimming -////--/// //-///--// --//--/// ---/////- -/////--/ ////---// ---///--- ---////-- --////--- //--///-// -//----/// -/-///-/// -/-/-/-/-/ -////-///// -/-/-/-/// -///------ ---------- --///-///-/ -////-//--- -/-/--/--- -/-/-////// ---------- --------- I will call ur doctor to tell him u are retarded

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Hi, this is Luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -None, they will pay for somebody else to do it

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Can I have... ...a beer." The bartender asks, "What's with the large pause?" To which the bear replies, "I have... ...a speech impediment."

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Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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