how fast does it take to kill a blonde? Give me a gun and i will find out

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what did the leprosy survivor get for christmas a amputation

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Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

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So i broke up with my girl, here her number... SIKE!! ITS THE WRONG NUMBAHHH!!!

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why are the Harold and Kumar movies really funny? the man who wrote obvieusly has a good sense of humor.

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Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

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Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

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You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

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What happens when you agree to disagree? You extend the duration of the argument.

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"Never trust what the internet says." - Abraham Lincoln

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops.

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A construction worker walks into a bar. He says "Ow! That hurt!" And walked in the opposite direction to the manager to complaint about the obvious health code violations of this site.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The 13 year old tied up in my basement.

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Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

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man, i read a lot but the are some words i can pronounce

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Nobody..

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What's brown and sticky? Syrup.

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings? whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 bee stings? No! The holicost Whats worse than the holicost? What? 3 Bee stings

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So there's this big ass bronco right? It goes to a store and it asks Ben Roethlisberger "Do you know where I can find some girls to rape?" Ben Roethlsiberger says "In aisle 5" so the moose goes down to aisle 5 but there aint no girls!

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Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

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What's the difference between a bird and a wheel? They both fly, I lied about the wheel.

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I walks over to da shop de oother day and there was this guy and he was like... I bought some petrol. LOoooooooooL

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i have a story to tell u!!! oh s*** i forgot!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops