I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

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dont insult justin bieber, she has feelings too!

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Knock knock. who's there? your dead cat, here you go.

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Why was the homeless man lying on the floor? Because he was dead

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What did the murderer do after killing the family? he went to jail.

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whats the diffrence between madeline macan and a submarine? there isnt one there both at the bottom of the sea and full of seaman

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Why couldn't the white guy tell the two asians apart? They were identical twins.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? Probably 5

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What's worse than having two girlfriends at once. Seven. Seven girlfriends. All across America.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What chicken?

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Why is Obama black Because his parents were black

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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Your momma is so fat, she doesn't have a birthday. She has a birthweek.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? You can't find a ferrari in my garage.

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How did the two friends cross the busy road? They couldn't, because that would be considered jay-walking

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Man walks into a hotel on Friday, Stays for three days and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? A. His horses name was Friday

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Do you know what's the sexiest thing in the world? Sex.

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon

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What did Dave tell me on Tuesday? "It's Wednesday, dumbass."

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He orders a beer with two cubes of ice. The bartender ask why does he want two cubes of ice. The guy doesn't answer. He finishes his beer and proceeds to go home safely because he was not intoxicated.

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Why did the Korean shoot the dog? Unfortunately, the dog was suffering from a severe mental trauma it had sustained when it by got hit by a car. This caused the dog to be extremely aggressive and it ruthlessly attacked a 5-year old girl playing in the street. The Korean who was coming home from a day out hunting in the woods saw the girl and shot the dog from long range to save the girl's life. The man was later thanked by the girl's family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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