- Anti Joke

What does an Irishman say to you in the morning? Nothing because you only speak French.

If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

What is shit? It's Deshitified already.

Your mom.

Yo momma stank so bad, she might have a serious vaginal infection. You should take her to the hospital.

What did the flag say to the pole? It dosnt

What did Batman say when he saw Robin? Hey look it's Robin

A blonde woman is creating an account for a website when she gets the "enter the following" box. The box says"How are you". She looks down at the bottom seeing the answer and puts"Good!".

Why did the man poop his pants. becuase he had to poop.

Q: What did a rock say to a Another Rock? A: Don't take things for Granite!

What is a gremlin's favorite snack? Gremlins aren't real.

What is the deferince between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

whats a joke

Why was the baby crying? He saw a nigga

What's did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

A woman walked out of the kitchen.

What happened to the fish? It drowned

Why did the man stop smoking? Because he was shot in the face.

Why did the Hindu eat the Mongolian? He tried, the Mongolian raped him.

So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

what did the bus driver say to the black man when he got on the bus? nothing, carl has become very anti-social since his brother died

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

If a small quiz is a quizicle then what is a small test? A quiz.

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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