what did the kid say when the bully took his ice cream nothing the bully punched him in the face first.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what goes oom oom a cow walking backwards

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why does bobby have no friends? He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why did the chef go to jail? because he was caught beating an egg

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happens when a girl falls? Another girl pees her pants

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -5

knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why didn't Hellen Keller just wear glasses? Oh wait

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

knock knock whose there?? seth oh, come in

thumb_up thumb_down +96

Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and proceeded to have gay sex on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where is my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Three men of varying ethnic backgrounds jump off a building and yell different things as they fall to their death. They were all very good friends and neglected to have had a trip sitter watch them take hallucinogenics. The group of school children below the building are traumatized for a good portion of their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

a rabbi,a priest and minister didnt walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

A couple arrived at Hospital in less than 3 hours. but actually they wanted to go to the Church...and 3 hours is quite a long time...

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's the diffrence between a pizza and a black man. One is human being while the other is an inanimate food source.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Two men walk into a bar, the third man ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops