A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? Prosthetic arms.

What do you call a black man jumping out of a plane? A skydiver

Your mother is so fat.

why doesnt cornelia say anything? she didnt answer

What do dead babies and trash both have in common? They're both in my dumpster.

I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

What is better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck CAN chuck wood, that's why his a wood chuck.

Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

Who's more mean than teacher Hitler

What's bad for your teeth? A brick

Poop.

What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

What's funnier than 24? 25.

What did the kid see when he fell down the well? Nothing it was to dark.

Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

so a baby seal walks into a club...

whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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