What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Why did the girl fall if her bike? -she has no arms

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there are 2 muffins in an oven they are cooked nicely and served as a tasty dessert

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What's the best way to eat 20 pancakes in ten minutes? With a fork

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What do u call fear of Chuck Norris? Logical

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You and your wife walk into a bar, you both order a drink and celebrate your good health.

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A traveling salesman came into town and needed a place to stay for the night. A farmer told him that he could sleep at his house, where he introduced the salesman to his young, sexy daughter. "Why hello," said the salesman. It's very nice to meet you." And then he went to sleep in the bedroom that the farmer had prepared for him.

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Netball.

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Whats white and cant jump? A refridgerator.

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A rabbi, a nun, and a homosexual walk into a bar. They proceed to get drunk, and party like its 1972. Oh yeah. And your dad was just killed by a refrigerator.

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whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

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What did the ghost say to the bee? BOOBEE

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How do you kill a black guy? Shoot him in the temple

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or a Tyrannosaurus Rex? It doesn't matter because Godzilla is fictional and a T-Rex is extinct.

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what is the best thing to do if you are stuck in a cave with ten lions that haven't eaten in ten years? well the lions aren't the thing to worry about because if they have not eaten in ten years then they would have starved to death

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What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

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Hitler. lol, sucks.

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Whats a cat? A cat!

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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what did the kid say when the bully took his ice cream nothing the bully punched him in the face first.

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guess what the quarterback did he threw the ball!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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