A plane filled with English tourists is on it's way from Holland to Spain. It crashes in France. Where are the surviors buried? Survivors aren't buried.

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How did the newborn baby come out of a man? It was ejaculated as a sperm from his testicles

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A black man, a Mexican man, a white man, an Asian man, a priest, a rabbi, and a prostitute walk into a bar. It was a very popular bar.

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Poop

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure, but the farmer must be very upset about the loss of one of his chickens.

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A paper cut is a tree's last revenge.

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Why did the white woman press charges against the black guy? Because he raped her

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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why did the baby start crying? because he was very hungry and hadn't been feed all day

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Why did the man fall of his bike? He wasn't on his bike, i drowned him yesterday.

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What do you call a mexican man working at a Taco Bell? A young man freshly out of high-school, who could not get into college because his family is sadly struck with poverty. He also has a baby on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection when having relations with his girlfriend while he was intoxicated. I wish him the best of luck!

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a M.afia boss so they put him in prison.

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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