Person 1: I got a really good knock, knock joke. Person 2: Okay. Person 1: You start. Person 2: Knock, knock. Person 1: Who's there? Person 2: ...

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. I said who's there? Knock Knock. WHO THE FUCK'S THERE, GODDAMNIT? Knock Knock. PLEASE STOP IT STOP IT OH GOD STOP IT Knock Knock SWEET DEAR JESUS GOD CHRIST STOPSTOPOHGODSTOPITNOW Knock Knock. FORGODSSAKECOMEIN. Hello, Mark. Oh, hi, Steven.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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roses are blue, violets are unicorns, this poem doesnt make any sense. refrigerator

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Q: a man in a camry runs over his wife. who's fault is it? A: toyota and their breaks.

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What do you call 5,000 black people at the bottom of the ocean? A large quantity of African Americans who drowned to their death in the sea.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Bob

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Q: What do you call a black man running for congress? A: Congressional Candidate

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Why did the kid get hit by the bus? He was in the road.

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Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

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Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

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yo mama so fat she died from a heart attack

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A man is walking on the beach and notices a shiny brass lamp on the ground. He picks it up, polishes it and then sells it for a reasonable amount of money at a local pawnbroker.

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What's going to happen you? Your going to die just like everyone else in the world. Don't laugh, it's not funny

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Q: what do you call a mushy green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because the farmer is obviously to stupid to build a proper chicken coop, and thus his chicken is crossing the road and will most likely be hit by a car

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Why didn't Anne Frank ever leave the attic? She did.

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there was a black man n a white man they went into a hauted house the black man saw a penut butter slice n tryed to eat it then the ghost said dont eat the penut butter slice so the black man ran away so then the white man came and saw the penut butter slice the white man toke a bite then the ghots said i told u once i told you 2 i wipe my ass with that penut butter slice

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What is Wonder Woman's drug of choice? Heroine.

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What happened to the man who jumped off a building? He got hit by a bus on the way down.

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Q:What do you call a cow with no legs? A:A hamburger.

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How many elephants can you fit in a mini? None. There are no affordable cars large enough to fit a fully grown elephant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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