what do you call a man that is hurt? A: you call him an ambulanse

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What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

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Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

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How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

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I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen...

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? a hospital fire.

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What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? REVENGE

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Q: Why did the Asian boy pass the math test? A: By studying with dedication to the field.

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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What is better than tissues? Correct!

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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Do you want to hear a joke? No.

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women's rights.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Which brains do zombie like most? Zombies dont exist.

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What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car?: Starve it to death, then chop it in pieces.

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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Q.whats black and white and red all over A. half a zebra

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops