Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

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what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

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How do you kill a red elephant? You can't red elephants don't exist.

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My lady, that is the backside of trust, I have decided to trust you, how am I supposed to feel about the fact that I believe to the point where I know that you mean everything you are saying? And that if you had any interest in backstabbing me, I would be risking my life, wife and friends. Do you not get trust? If you keep thinking like that, tomorrow you could be suspecting the mailman for being a spy, I can, and could tell you that I will cut ties with my employees, but then I would have you not only to believe me, but to support me financially, I do not need much, in fact, I need you to trust me, and if you do not trust me, what does it matter if I quit? You could accuse me for typing books that alter the mind (all books do), you could accuse me of having killed Nero and taken over... The point is, if you cannot trust me, then I cannot help you with what you ask, and if that is a requirement for our friendship to persist, then you are not looking for a friend, but for a employee.

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Q.whats black and white and red all over A. half a zebra

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What do you call a man holding a bible? A man holding a bible. What do you call a woman holding a bible? A women holding a bible. What do you call a man and a women holding a bible? A man and a women holding a bible.

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Q: What's the difference between a grasshopper and pencil? A: Lots

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? It is highly unlikely one would have a supply of dead babies large enough to answer this question.

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Why did the girl trip in the middle of the street? She tripped over the kid who dropped his ice cream because he got hit by a bus.

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Roses are red Violets are victorious 2 in a chamber Mr pistorius

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10 kids are on a bus. It's just a normal bus, it takes the kids to school and lets them off.

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What did the T-REX say to the Yettie? This is a highly improbable situation, therefore there is no need for an answer.

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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whats the difference between a chicken and a rooster. a rooster has a dick

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Why is six scared of seven? Because seven is in his house with an axe.

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once i was a dog and u were a flower........... i raised my leg and gave u a shower :)

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practise.

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Whats black and white and says moo? A Dalmatian retriever with a voice box.

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A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

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You know you guys are suppose to post jokes, not basketball comments.

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why did the asian wearing a sombrero buy orange juice at 2am? because hes trying to stay sober and do away with alcohol for good because its ruining his family and he wants to be a good father and husband.

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A vodka please Sir this is McDonald's Ok sorry, a McVodka please

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Roses are red violets are blue I want to F%$# you with a rake

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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