Roses are red violets are blue you better run I see you

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Who ate my sandwich? The office appliance that fell from the sky.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

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Thank you, you remind me that I am not insane, just because I believe we humans can accomplish more, by uniting as one, rather than fighting one another. I feel as if I belong somewhere else, yet the question remains always, are people such as you better, or are we relics from the past?

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Doctor: I got bad news and worse news Patient: Whats the bad news? Doctor: You have 24 hours to live Patient: Whats the worse news? Doctor: Your mom died this morning

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Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. I guess I make a good milkshake.

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What are the similarites between Autistic people and dead people? They are both very poor in social situations

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what electronic vegetable sits in a chair? stephen hawking

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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How do you get the icing in the middle of a cupcake? Cupcake raper...Duh

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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy almost unparalleled in marine history.

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A man goes to the doctor and complains: "Doctor, my Viagra hasn't worn off! It's been over eight hours!" The doctor replies "You were bitten by a banana spider. You have one day to live.

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Knock knock ? Who's there ? Ipe Ipe who ? You sick !

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A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

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Whats black, blue, and red all over? A man who has just been severally beaten.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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knock knock whos there make up make up who hahahaha you said make a poo

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What was the babies first word? Nothing: It was a still-born.

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I walk into a bar...

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women's rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops