What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

A white man, a black man and an asian walked into a bar. They got a drink and discussed multiple issues of the day and then went their seperate ways home.

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

Knock knock. Who's there? Justin. Hello Justin, please come in.

Hi im a joke i eat turtles

A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

Why can't Bin laden drive because he's dead

whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

the sky is green no it is not

How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

why did the man leave his house during a state of emergency? he didnt

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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