A baby seal walks into a club.

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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what did the indians give the pilgrims? syphylis

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willam dafoe

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What do you call a cat in a piece of bred? An inbred cat.

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Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

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Why did the baby stop laughing? Would you if you pooped your pants?

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What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

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Dimes are silver Pennies are brass Why does your face look like an a**

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I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

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How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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What is a holocaust victim's favorite food? Nothing.

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the WNBA.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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Why was the white man's girlfriend a whore? Because she engaged in sexual relations with a multitude of other men.

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Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

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Q: What did blue say to red? A: Let's make some purple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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