- Anti Joke

My title of old was Satan. You humans killed my brother, ending God the holy trinity`s stay on earth, the Gods Omega. Moral: And yet you call ME? THE ANTICHRIST?!? I OFFERED HIM WATER! YOU OFFERED HIM TORTURE AND DEATH!

What was wrong with the tomato? Nothing.

your so vein that doctors find you really helpful when giving you injections

Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

What's even funnier than 24? A clown in a tree.

A pirate walks into a doctors office with ship's wheel attached to his crotch. Pirate: "Arrrrrr, do ya accept Kaiser Permanente?" Doctor: "Yes, but there's a $20 co-pay."

Kinky = using a feather Perverted = using the whole chicken Weird = using chicken bones Downright disgusting = all of the above, plus a cat

A. THERE'S SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE B. WHAT?!? PUNCH A. IT WAS PAINNNNNNNNN

Roses are Red, Violets are not blue they are violet, nothing rhymes with this, I give up

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." Then there is silence and a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "I shot in the air and my friend heard it and moved. I think he's still alive." The operator says "Good that means he's still breathing and he's not dead."

Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

What do you call a deer with no eyes? It doesn't really matter but I wouldn't actually call anything because they have very sensitive hearing and will probably panic and, being blind, might collide with a tree.

what do you wear at a funeral? white. lol jk black

Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Connor is homosexuaI

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

Why did the black man eat lucky charms? Because it was breakfast time and he was hungry.

Roses are Red, I have a phone, Nobody texts me, Forever alone.

Why did the black man buy a gun? because he wanted to go hunting.

Why doesnt your dad like barrack Obama? because your dad is straight, hes not into men

One fish... Two fish... Red fish... I have AIDs

What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

My title of old was Satan. You humans killed my brother, ending God the holy trinity`s stay on earth, the Gods Omega. Moral: And yet you call ME? THE ANTICHRIST?!? I OFFERED HIM WATER! YOU OFFERED HIM TORTURE AND DEATH!

What was wrong with the tomato? Nothing.

your so vein that doctors find you really helpful when giving you injections

Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

What's even funnier than 24? A clown in a tree.

A pirate walks into a doctors office with ship's wheel attached to his crotch. Pirate: "Arrrrrr, do ya accept Kaiser Permanente?" Doctor: "Yes, but there's a $20 co-pay."

Kinky = using a feather Perverted = using the whole chicken Weird = using chicken bones Downright disgusting = all of the above, plus a cat

A. THERE'S SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE B. WHAT?!? PUNCH A. IT WAS PAINNNNNNNNN

Roses are Red, Violets are not blue they are violet, nothing rhymes with this, I give up

Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

What do you call a deer with no eyes? It doesn't really matter but I wouldn't actually call anything because they have very sensitive hearing and will probably panic and, being blind, might collide with a tree.

what do you wear at a funeral? white. lol jk black

Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Connor is homosexuaI

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

Why did the black man eat lucky charms? Because it was breakfast time and he was hungry.

Roses are Red, I have a phone, Nobody texts me, Forever alone.

Why did the black man buy a gun? because he wanted to go hunting.

Why doesnt your dad like barrack Obama? because your dad is straight, hes not into men

One fish... Two fish... Red fish... I have AIDs

What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

My title of old was Satan. You humans killed my brother, ending God the holy trinity`s stay on earth, the Gods Omega. Moral: And yet you call ME? THE ANTICHRIST?!? I OFFERED HIM WATER! YOU OFFERED HIM TORTURE AND DEATH!

What was wrong with the tomato? Nothing.

your so vein that doctors find you really helpful when giving you injections

Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

What's even funnier than 24? A clown in a tree.

A pirate walks into a doctors office with ship's wheel attached to his crotch. Pirate: "Arrrrrr, do ya accept Kaiser Permanente?" Doctor: "Yes, but there's a $20 co-pay."

Kinky = using a feather Perverted = using the whole chicken Weird = using chicken bones Downright disgusting = all of the above, plus a cat

A. THERE'S SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE B. WHAT?!? *PUNCH* A. IT WAS PAINNNNNNNNN

Roses are Red, Violets are not blue they are violet, nothing rhymes with this, I give up

Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

What do you call a deer with no eyes? It doesn't really matter but I wouldn't actually call anything because they have very sensitive hearing and will probably panic and, being blind, might collide with a tree.

what do you wear at a funeral? white. lol jk black

Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

A. THERE'S SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE B. WHAT?!? PUNCH A. IT WAS PAINNNNNNNNN