Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

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I scream. You scream. We all scream and huddle in a corner of our first grade classroom because of a masked gunman.

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What do you call a three legged man? Horribly deformed

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

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A man walked into a bar. It was closed, so I don't see how this was possible.

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

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What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

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I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

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If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

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what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

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What did the African boy get for his Christmas present for the first time? Leprosy

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My wife has terminal cancer.

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What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

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Why do Jews hate hitler? They are jealous of him.

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I know what makes young boys "explode" -dynamite

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

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What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

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I have a knock knock joke. You start.

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What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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